New Years Resolutions

My reader is full of blogs talking about resolutions for the new year. I feel like I should set some goals or at least plan ahead more than just a day or a week.  The last little while I have felt like I was just making it through one day and one week at a time. I have felt rather stressed. I look back and wonder why I have been feeling this way. Still don't have a good answer, but I guess just recognizing it is a good thing.  Then I can at least try to figure out ways to feel a little less like I am in a state of chaos. There are so many things I would love to change about myself and the way we do things but it is so hard to actually come up with a plan to carry out those changes.

In the past I have "set" some resolutions. One year I decided to give myself a word as my theme for the year. Calm, I wanted to be more calm. I told someone, who I thought knows me pretty well, about that resolution and they said "But you always seem so calm to me". I must put on a good show because I don't feel calm on in the inside. 

Last year I thought of the story of Mary and Martha from the scriptures and wanted to focus on choosing that which is of most worth rather than being cumbered about by much "stuff". Stuff, of course, is all the physical things in my life as well as the tasks I give myself or chores I feel need to be done.

I don't think I can pinpoint exact things that have changed in my life because I have made these resolutions. I still feel crazy at times and have remind myself to remain or regain my calm. I also feel like we as a family have made some changes, on many different fronts, toward that which is of most worth in our house. (The Wii may be a step in the wrong direction. We will see how it goes when we get back into a more normal schedule)

For for the coming year I think I want to focus on our time.

Time is something I have been thinking a lot about the last few months as I try to juggle three kids, each of their school work, worrying about teaching them all the life skills they need, helping them develop their talents all while having a very adventurous 1 1/2 year old who demands a lot of my attention.  I spend a lot of my day bouncing around from job to job, kid to kid and from mess to mess never feeling like I am very productive.

Recently I also have had two friends diagnosed with Leukemia this year. One has already passed on after a 4 month battle with the disease. She left a husband to care for their brand new baby girl. The other, my cousin, is now facing yet another round of Chemo to prepare her body for the bone marrow transplant. They are both young and seemed in perfect health. Receiving the updates to each of their sagas has made me think more about how precious our time is here with our loved ones. And makes me want to do more meaningful things and less wasteful things with the time I am given.

So for the next little while (I don't want to say the next year. This will be an ongoing project, I am sure!) I plan to review and think about Time.

 I don't feel like we have been using our time in the best ways or the most productive way. So we need to look at what we are using our time to do and what we are trading it for. ( Yes! the Wii is a bit counter productive to this thought. I know there are many issues we still have to address. But the Wii has already be designated a Saturday only activity and, my kids don't know this yet, but as some rainy day schedule physical activity as well)

I want to spend more time in nature. We used to take walks and hikes a lot. We got to know a lot of the plants and animals that we saw in our neighborhood. I miss that.

I don't read aloud enough to my kids. I know my posts are full of books we have read. And yes we read lots of books but there are still so many more books I want to read and I have grown too dependent on audio books. I need to spend the time to actually read these chapter books with my kids and not just turn them over to the CD.

I hope to spend more time individually with each of my children. They each crave attention and I am usually pulled toward which ever is screaming the loudest. But perhaps the one that needs me more is the one that isn't causing the loudest racket.

Time serving others is somewhat lacking. I don't feel like we serve enough or much at all. I want to find ways that we can be of service to those around us. Thinking less of ourselves and what we want and focusing on others. This will take some effort but it will be worth it. I need to think about this more.

I loved our time the last few months studying the Family Proclamation in September and then memorizing the Living Christ through Oct, Nov, and Dec. This, paired with a new hymn to study each month has really set a good tone to our scripture study and the rest of our day.  I love that the words of the Living Christ are now stuck in my children's minds and that we can refer to them as we sing songs and share scriptures. We will spend some time reviewing it often so that we don't forget it. The new songs are also welcome changes to the usual songs picked for FHE. And I find my kids singing in church more often now that they know some of the usual songs we sing for Sacrament Meeting.

So my time is up. My kids are now in need of my undivided attention. I will have to keep thinking about this topic and what I want to put into my alloted time and what could be taken out that distracts me what is most important.