Wordful Wednesday - New Beginnings.

My sister just made a move a few weeks ago. Not just down the street or across town but across the country. She now lives in North Carolina. That is a big move for a girl that has never really lived anywhere except California. I envy her in many ways. It is a whole lot cheeper to live there. She may actually be able to buy a house. She says that the Southern Hospitality isn't just a myth but that people are genuinely nicer there. She loves it there already. Mostly, I envy her in the chance to move and wipe herself clean of almost all commitments and responsibilities and also to unload a bunch of her stuff. That is one of the best parts of moving is that you get to clean house, throw things out and get rid of things that just seem to clutter life. And I am not just talking about the books, papers, appliances and toys that fill the house. But a fresh start where you don't have habits or set patterns that keep you captive. It sounds so invigorating.

Often when I read the passage of the Book of Mormon where Lehi packs up to leave Jerusalem and takes nothing with him save his family and provisions, I think two things. First thought is "wow... he gave up so much to do what the Lord asked him to do" but then I also think, how lovely it would be to not be cumbered down with all the extra things that aren't really important or necessary. It is always hard to leave the familiar and the place where you feel comfortable but sometimes it is so nice to have a change or a New Beginning.

I think my feelings mainly arise from starting a new project myself. This isn't the type of project that is going to make me feel invigorated. In fact is has really made my energy levels drop. I am now 11 week into my fourth pregnancy. With three very active kids already demanding my attention, I wonder how I am going to be able to have the stamina to keep up with an additional one. I also look around our house and wonder where this baby is going to fit. Moving isn't an option this time. In the past we have always just moved to a bigger place when a new baby was expected. This time we aren't able to make that change, we have to make due with what we have. We, my husband and I, are looking at our room and trying to figure out how we will shuffle things around so we can fit in a crib (our babies always spend the first year in our room). But mostly I have been looking at the number of things I try to juggle. Being so tired and somewhat foggy headed lately I just can't keep all the balls in the air anymore. So instead of adding more things and beginning new projects I am looking to actually cut things from my schedule. This is something new for me.

So no I don't get to pack up my family and a few provisions and make a clean break like Lehi or my sister has done (she took a lot more than a few provisions). I am starting out on a journey however, one that will forever change me and my family. I do have a lot more to do in order to prepare for this little life that will join us. It is a great opportunity for me to really evaluate what is important and what is excess in my life. I will be taking time to "clean house" and throw out the unnecessary. This is a new beginning for me even though my lagging energy keeps me from really feeling motivated to accomplish much. Hopefully in a few weeks my vigor will return and I will feel more like myself. I can then tackle my room and the mounds of clutter that always seem to collect there. Maybe I will actually convince my kids to toss out a few of their toys too.