Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Wordful Wednesday - New Beginnings.

My sister just made a move a few weeks ago. Not just down the street or across town but across the country. She now lives in North Carolina. That is a big move for a girl that has never really lived anywhere except California. I envy her in many ways. It is a whole lot cheeper to live there. She may actually be able to buy a house. She says that the Southern Hospitality isn't just a myth but that people are genuinely nicer there. She loves it there already. Mostly, I envy her in the chance to move and wipe herself clean of almost all commitments and responsibilities and also to unload a bunch of her stuff. That is one of the best parts of moving is that you get to clean house, throw things out and get rid of things that just seem to clutter life. And I am not just talking about the books, papers, appliances and toys that fill the house. But a fresh start where you don't have habits or set patterns that keep you captive. It sounds so invigorating.

Often when I read the passage of the Book of Mormon where Lehi packs up to leave Jerusalem and takes nothing with him save his family and provisions, I think two things. First thought is "wow... he gave up so much to do what the Lord asked him to do" but then I also think, how lovely it would be to not be cumbered down with all the extra things that aren't really important or necessary. It is always hard to leave the familiar and the place where you feel comfortable but sometimes it is so nice to have a change or a New Beginning.

I think my feelings mainly arise from starting a new project myself. This isn't the type of project that is going to make me feel invigorated. In fact is has really made my energy levels drop. I am now 11 week into my fourth pregnancy. With three very active kids already demanding my attention, I wonder how I am going to be able to have the stamina to keep up with an additional one. I also look around our house and wonder where this baby is going to fit. Moving isn't an option this time. In the past we have always just moved to a bigger place when a new baby was expected. This time we aren't able to make that change, we have to make due with what we have. We, my husband and I, are looking at our room and trying to figure out how we will shuffle things around so we can fit in a crib (our babies always spend the first year in our room). But mostly I have been looking at the number of things I try to juggle. Being so tired and somewhat foggy headed lately I just can't keep all the balls in the air anymore. So instead of adding more things and beginning new projects I am looking to actually cut things from my schedule. This is something new for me.

So no I don't get to pack up my family and a few provisions and make a clean break like Lehi or my sister has done (she took a lot more than a few provisions). I am starting out on a journey however, one that will forever change me and my family. I do have a lot more to do in order to prepare for this little life that will join us. It is a great opportunity for me to really evaluate what is important and what is excess in my life. I will be taking time to "clean house" and throw out the unnecessary. This is a new beginning for me even though my lagging energy keeps me from really feeling motivated to accomplish much. Hopefully in a few weeks my vigor will return and I will feel more like myself. I can then tackle my room and the mounds of clutter that always seem to collect there. Maybe I will actually convince my kids to toss out a few of their toys too.

10 comments:

James and Aimee said...

Congratulations! A new baby is a wonderful new beginning. Every time I've had a baby, my life has changed. I wouldn't ever want to go back.

Chocolate on my Cranium said...

Congratulations!

You can do it! I'm saying that from my own experience. We had four children while living in an 800 sq foot house. Some days I wish we could go back to that and get rid of so much of our unnecessary "necessities."

For me the hardest time was when I had three children. #4 (and 5, 6, & 7) didn't seem to take more energy to care for than the three children. There are older kids to help keep the littler ones entertained.

I hope you get over the icky early pregnancy sickness soon. If you need any help (wish I lived closer!) please ask!

Karen said...

Yay Babies!
Sorry I won't be around to babysit your kids for this one.

kjha said...

I felt the same way when #4 was on the way. It turns out she was just the joy I needed in a very hard year...Best wishes!

Angela said...

Wow this is Amazing! I am so excited for you! Take it easy this year and be good to yourself!

the lazy reader said...

Seastar, congratulations!!! I am right there with you. My house is way too small and with two kids, too much stuff, and a baby due this year I feel more than a little claustraphobic at times. There are days when moving to North Carolina sounds like a great idea. Um, except for the actual packing and stuff.

Michal said...

yay! i'm so happy for you. i found with our fourth that the older kids helped out A LOT more than with number 3. probably because they were older!:) the process to pare things down and make room may be painful, but you won't miss that stuff once it's gone.
here's hoping you get your energy and drive back soon.

Alison said...

Congratulations! It certainly is a new beginning. You certainly have a lot on your plate. It isn't easy to sort and prioritize and get rid of the excess whether it is physical stuff or emotional stuff or stuff you do. You are an incredibly capable person. You can do it.

Malissa said...

That's wonderul!!! Congrats to you and your family!

Throwing out stuff...such a feeling of being free. We did over the summer when we packed everything into a 6'x12' trailer and headed for the east coast. 6 months later we're declutterig again. We really don't miss what we left behind in CA (with the exception of friends, family, and our pet rabbit.) We have to stay focused on needs not wants- especially now that we're square foot challenged.

Jenni said...

Congrats! You're keeping up the pace. I'm amazed at all you do for your kids. I'm one who counts down the days for them to head off to kindergarten. I noticed that the yucks were a lot worse with this baby. I think it's our age :-(. I hope things turn around for you soon.
Jen